Comments on: “Lawsuit: Shopping Center Aided Attacking Squirrel”

By: Deoxy

Deoxy — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 17:28:54 +0000

but that won’t work because people (if it’s reasonabl to inlcude PETA members as “people”) will su over that, too.

The only thing that will actually work is to eliminate all HUMAN lifeforms on from the planet – then, there’s no one left to do the sueing!

By: J.T. Wenting

J.T. Wenting — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 13:42:37 +0000

warning signs won’t help the analphabetic, blind, and dislexic people.
They’re not just discriminated against by all those warning signs meant purely for others, they’re actually put in mortal danger by them.
They’re going to spend time trying to decipher the signs (or in the case of blind people walking into them and stumbling), giving the killer pigeons and squirrels time to make their move.

In fact the only thing that will work is the total elimination of all other lifeforms from the planet.

By: Jetgirl

Jetgirl — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 13:02:34 +0000

Soon there won't be a square foot of the outdoors that's not covered with warning signs.
At this point I will sue because the abundance of warning signs is contributing to my migranes and lower/upper chronic back pain.

By: Mike Perry

Mike Perry — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 00:44:28 +0000

I can see it now. Every tree in the country will soon bear a warning label, “Warning, Squirrels may inhabit this tree and attack without warning.”

Every open public space will alert us about danger of pigeon poop plunging from above. Then there are lamps, which attract moths and puddles, which breed mosquitos. The list of ‘dangers’ that nature assaults us with is endless. Soon there won’t be a square foot of the outdoors that’s not covered with warning signs. Future generations will ridicule us for our stupidity and they’ll be right. Some of us are.

It’s hard to know how to parody this lawsuit. But judges could get this madness under control by fining lawyers who file make-work fluff.

–Mike Perry, Inkling Books, Seattle