Comments on: National Be Kind To Lawyers Day

By: Peter

Peter — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:23:46 +0000

The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

Andthe joke is that the Lawyer bills the third Million as ‘Additional Billing Hours, Expenses and Secretrial Support”

By: Peter

Peter — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:20:40 +0000

So what is wrong with April 1st. Much more appropriate

By: Benji

Benji — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:50:03 +0000

A Russian, a Cuban, an American, and a lawyer are on a boat. The Russian takes a bottle of vodka out of his bag and exclaims, “My country is famous for its vodka, and we have so much of it that we can afford to simply dump it in the sea!” And with that he throws the vodka overboard.
The Cuban takes out a cigar and exclaims, “My country is famous for its cigars, and we have so many of them that we can afford to simply dump them into the sea!” And he throws a box of cigars overboard.
The American regards the Russian and the Cuban, thinks for a moment, and then throws the lawyer overboard.

By: Walter Olson

Walter Olson — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:48:18 +0000

Sorry, overly tasteless comments are subject to removal, even if funny. Decision on what’s overly tasteless, and what’s just tasteless enough, are within the sole discretion of the moderators.

By: PhilG

PhilG — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:52:01 +0000

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch – he couldn’t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

(compliments of jakesjokes.com)

By: E-Bell

E-Bell — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:46:35 +0000

There are only 1 or 2 lawyer jokes.

The rest are true stories.

By: T. Hunt

T. Hunt — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:08:58 +0000

Color me baffled, bemused and bewildered. As Brat M said above, we don’t go to lawyers ’cause we love them, we go ’cause we’re forced to. The image of a lawyer today is not of someone who advocates for the law or fairness or justice but of someone who is consulted primarily to find loopholes and wiggle room. Lawyers are brought in when one party wants to weasel out of a contract. Lawyers are helping deprive Minnesota of a second senator; not because there is a valid dispute over votes but because, by contesting the election to the bitter end, they can help the Republicans keep one more vote short of a 60 vote majority. Lawyers have strung out the proceedings in the SCO vs IBM litigation to the point where, when IBM wins, there will be nothing left to recover. Lawyers sued a family owned business over a missing pair of pants for $67 MILLION DOLLARS, fer cryin’ out loud.

Please explain again why we should be kind to lawyers… at all.

T. Hunt

By: Benji

Benji — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:42:47 +0000

@mojo: You’ll find skid marks in front of the snake.

By: Jim Collins

Jim Collins — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:41:27 +0000

Skid marks before the snake, burn out marks before the lawyer.

By: mojo

mojo — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:27:37 +0000

What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?