It has been brought to our attention that you have been using the Dept Of Education’s “Explanation of Core K-12 Principles” without attribution or royalty. Please understand that such continued plagiarism will be answered in the future with a civil suit and an IRS audit.

— The regulators

We have been made aware of your concerns that people who attend our programs might learn something. We appreciate these concerns and wish to assure you that our attendees will learn absolutely nothing. In fact, they may come back even stupider and more ignorant than they were before, qualifying them for a place in the glorious Caliornia we are working towards.

While we recognize that this might qualify them for government employment, we have taken every precaution against any event that might cause them to learn something or gain a skill of any sort. Therefore, this is not something you should concern yourself with.

Bob