December 28, 2001-January 1, 2002 — Eggnog expense exacerbated. Many states artificially inflate the price of holiday cheer through measures designed to further the interests of wine and spirits wholesalers, such as laws making it virtually impossible for liquor manufacturers and importers to switch from one wholesaler to another. (Americans for Tax Reform, “Monopoly Protection Laws Target Wine and Spirits Industry”, Dec. 14).
December 28, 2001-January 1, 2002 — Law firm sued over fen-phen settlement practices. “A New York law firm has come under attack by disgruntled fen-phen plaintiffs who charge the firm persuaded thousands of plaintiffs to opt out of the 1999 global class action settlement, struck a secret deal with American Home Products and then intimidated its clients to settle for far less than was promised.” The suit was filed against Napoli, Kaiser, Bern & Associates on behalf of 5,600 fen-phen plaintiffs by Seattle’s Hagens & Berman. Among its allegations are that the Napoli firm resolved cases in a large batch settlement with AHP which left it with unsupervised discretion to distribute the proceeds among various clients, and that it employed a registered nurse and attorney “to tell clients why, in her ‘expert opinion,’ the settlement represented excellent compensation for their injuries. ‘Later, a charge for “expert witness fee” appeared on client closing documents,’ the complaint states. ‘Often the so-called expert fees were dated before she even came to the NKB.'” The defendants say they obtained reasonable settlements for the clients and expect to be vindicated. (Mark Hamblett, “New York Firm Accused of Intimidating Clients in Fen-Phen Litigation”, New York Law Journal, Dec. 13).
December 28, 2001-January 1, 2002 — “The Great Mouthpiece”. Don’t get too nostalgic about the good old days: long before the O.J. trial, back in the ‘teens and 1920s, there were the likes of notorious Manhattan attorney Bill Fallon. “Few Fallon clients spent a day in jail before trial and, if not acquitted, they usually enjoyed hung juries. …Fallon’ style was Runyonesque before Runyon invented it for himself. … so long as he endured in public memory, he was the archetype of the amoral criminal defense lawyer.” (William Bryk, “Old Smoke: Criminal Lawyer”, New York Press, Nov. (vol. 14, iss. 45))
December 28, 2001-January 1, 2002 — “UK women can demand to know men’s salaries”. The new law is supposed to promote “pay equity”, but officials acknowledge there may be a wee problem protecting male employees’ privacy and preventing fishing expeditions aimed at gratifying curiosity or spite rather than fingering equal pay violations. (Jo Revill, “UK women can demand to know men’s salaries”, ThisIsLondon.com, Dec. 4).
December 24-27 — Chestnuts-roasting menace averted. Citing clean-air concerns, the Berkeley, Calif. city council “has banned log-burning fireplaces in new homes and other buildings.” An environmental activist who led the drive for the ordinance is hoping in future to extend it so as to ban homeowners’ use of existing fireplaces as well. At least seven Bay Area jurisdictions, including San Jose and Palo Alto, as well as Contra Costa and San Mateo counties, have banned installation of new residential fireplaces, but Berkeley is the first to forbid new wood-fired restaurant ovens and grills in restaurants unless pollution-control equipment is added, a possible threat to the city’s thriving foodie culture of “foraged-mesquite fires cooking free-range chickens or vegan pizzas”. Famed Berkeley restaurateur Alice Waters, who “said her grill and oven did not work properly when she tried to filter the exhaust”, is among those “totally opposed” to the new law: “We’ve had a fundamental connection between fire and food since the beginning of time.” (Peter Y. Hong, “Cozy Domestic Symbol Takes Heat in Berkeley”, L.A. Times, Dec. 23) (see Feb. 28, 2001 and Dec. 27-29, 2002). (DURABLE LINK)
December 24-27 — Holidays in strict legal form. Three seasonal rituals — the office party, gift-giving, and New Year’s resolutions — might work better if reduced to legal contract form, suggests humorist Madeleine Begun Kane. From HumorMatters.com comes another lawyered-up “Night Before Christmas” parody: “At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter ‘the Vehicle’) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer.” Plus, from the same site: “Politically Correct Christmas Poem” and the much-circulated “Xmas office party memos“. From IndraNet, the also much-circulated “Twelve Days of Christmas for the Politically Correct“. Chadbourne & Parke attorney Lawrence Savell puts out “The Lawyer’s Holiday Humor Album“, with tunes like “Santa v. Acme Sleigh” and “It’s Gonna Be A Billable Christmas”; all we can tell you about is the titles since we haven’t heard the album. For more Christmas lawyer humor, see Dec. 23, 1999. (DURABLE LINK)
December 24-27 — Federal judge rules high school sports schedules unlawful. More Title IX from Outer Space: a federal judge in Kalamazoo, Mich. has ruled that the Michigan High School Athletic Association has been violating federal and state civil rights law and the Fourteenth Amendment’s equal protection clause by scheduling girls’ but not boys’ athletic seasons out of sync with their collegiate counterparts. (James Prichard, “Federal Judge Rules Against Michigan High School Athletic Group in Gender-Equity Lawsuit”, AP/Law.com, Dec. 18; extensive Grand Rapids Press/MichiganLive coverage). See Dave Reardon, “Spring hoops might not be federal case”, Honolulu Star-Bulletin, Dec. 13, 2000. (& letter to the editor, Feb. 28). More: Jul. 10, 2004. (DURABLE LINK)
December 24-27 — Liability for mistargeted bombing? Sovereign immunity, shmovereign immunity, says a Jones, Day attorney who is suing to make the U.S. government (and hence U.S. taxpayers) compensate the owner of a Sudanese pharmaceutical plant destroyed by an American bombing raid in August 1998 that many subsequent reports have suggested was mistargeted. While nothing would prevent the U.S. Congress from appropriating such compensation as a voluntary matter, Justice Department lawyers are unimpressed with attorney Stephen Brogan’s argument that the plant owner is entitled as a matter of law to compensation under the Constitution’s “takings” clause, saying that clause would not cover non-U.S. property owned by a non-U.S. citizen. Not to mention the wider policy issues: “There is something to be said for the government acting with fearlessness in these circumstances,” as George Washington University law professor Jonathan Siegel says. “The president should not have to worry about tort liability” when making tough military calls. (Otis Bilodeau, “When Bombs Miss the Mark”, Legal Times, Nov. 28). (DURABLE LINK)
December 21-23 — Under the Christmas tree. Toy soldiers? Think again if you’re in the child care business: “A daycare center in North Carolina seeking state certification for its preschool program found itself penalized because an inspector discovered green plastic army men on the premises, reports the Wilmington Morning Star. Laura Johnson said the presence of the nine little army guys at her Kids Gym Schoolhouse led to the loss of five points under the state-sanctioned Early Childhood Environmental Rating System. Evaluator Katie Haselden said schools may not have such displays of stereotyping or violence on the premises. The army men ‘reflect stereotyping and violence, therefore credit cannot be given,’ she wrote in her report.” (Scott Norvell, “Tongue Tied”, FoxNews.com, Nov. 26). At home, however, this may be the year that even good liberal parents break down and buy their son a G.I. Joe, if anecdotes from New York are any indication (John Tierney, “G.I. Stands Tall Again (12 Inches)”, New York Times, Dec. 11; and don’t miss Lisa Snell, “What the Schools Teach Children About Terrorism”, Dynamist.com (Virginia Postrel), Sept. 15 (scroll down if necessary to “Power Rangers vs. Eggshells”)). However, trial lawyers and their friends at the Consumer Product Safety Commission have been running a big campaign against that classic Christmas present of a rural boyhood, the Daisy BB gun(Andrew Ferguson, “When the Nanny State Becomes the Mommy State”, Bloomberg.com, Nov. 6; “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out!” (editorial), Wall Street Journal, Nov. 30).
December 21-23 — Fleeing obstetrics, again. One of the many prices the state of Mississippi is paying for its reputation as a trial lawyer paradise: physicians are increasingly dropping obstetrics from their practices, faced with insurance rates of $40,000-$100,000 a year that would until recently have been more typical of big cities (“Costs Lead Rural Doctors to Drop Obstetrics”, AP/Washington Post, Nov. 23). Similar problems are arising in West Virginia: Rita Rubin, “You might feel a bit of a pinch, USA Today, Dec. 3. Frederick (Md.) Memorial Hospital is among institutions that have moved to a policy of not allowing families to bring cameras to the delivery room, and some upset moms “accuse hospital officials of trying to protect themselves against malpractice suits at the parents’ expense”. (Raymond McCaffrey, “Moms Say Hospital Photo Ban Makes Birth a Blurry Memory,” Washington Post, Dec. 11; see Oct. 18, 2000). And although trial lawyers keep insisting that medical liability coverage is a high-profit line for insurers, one of the largest providers of malpractice insurance, St. Paul Cos., just announced it was finally giving up and pulling out of the business, which would seem a reasonably sincere testimony to its frustration (“St Paul Cos To Exit Medical Malpractice Business”, Wall Street Journal, Dec. 12)(online subscribers only).
December 21-23 — Australia: anti-American tripped up by speech code. In a case currently on appeal, Australia’s Financial Times was found guilty of inciting racial hatred after one of its opinion columnists wrote that Palestinians as a factor in Mideast politics were “vicious thugs” and “cannot be trusted” (see July 11, 2000). Now, to the shock of some in Australian journalism, prominent broadcaster and journalist Phillip Adams has been made the subject of a private complaint for “racial vilification” of … Americans; he had published in The Australian one of those all-too-familiar screeds declaring that the United States is a country of “madness”, “the most violent nation on earth”, etc., etc. Writes commentator Tim Blair: “I can’t see a massive amount of difference here. Either Adams must be found guilty, or – my favored option – we throw this vilification garbage in the toilet and return to living like free men.” (Tim Blair weblog, scroll to near bottom of the page for Dec. 9; scroll to third Dec. 7 item (via Matt Welch); Pilita Clark, “Shock as columnist investigated for un-American activity”, Sydney Morning Herald, Dec. 7; Phillip Adams, “Look back in anger”, The Australian, Oct. 6) (see also Oct. 17-18, on the Sunera Thobani case in Canada). And the British government, in order to get its antiterrorism legislation past the House of Lords, “was forced to abandon the controversial attempt to make a new criminal offense of inciting religious hatred”. (“UK passes antiterror law”, CNN, Dec. 14)(see Oct. 19-21). They’re sometimes a more useful bunch than G&S gave them credit for being, those Lords.