Archive for July, 2006

Soup-tampering does not pay

“A federal grand jury indicted a Stockbridge, Ga. man Thursday on charges he poisoned his own children with tainted soup in an attempt to extort money from soup maker Campbell’s.” Prosecutors say William Allen Cunningham, 40, on three occasions in January fed his children, aged 3 years and 18 months, soup spiked with dangerous substances which resulted each time in their hospitalization. Cunningham allegedly told police he planned to sue the Campbell Soup Company for money based on the injuries. (“Man Indicted For Poisoning Soup and Feeding It to His Children”, WXIA/FirstCoastNews, Jul. 7; Priscilla Rodriguez, “Dad accused of tampering with kids’ soup”, KNX NewsRadio, Jul. 7). And in Newport News, Va., Carla Patterson was sentenced to 12 months in jail as punishment for a scam in which she and her son Ricky claimed to have found a dead mouse in the soup at a Cracker Barrel restaurant, for which they sought $500,000 (Jun. 3, 2004); evidence indicated that the mouse had neither drowned nor been cooked, but had died of a fractured skull. (“Woman gets year in jail for mouse-in-soup scam”, WAVY-TV, Jul. 6; Beverly N. Williams, “Mother gets year in mouse soup case”, Newport News Daily Press, Jul. 6).

Mistaken for Michael Jordan, so he sues

By reader acclaim: Allen Heckard of Portland, Ore. “says he’s been mistaken as Michael Jordan nearly every day over the past 15 years and he’s tired of it.” So he’s suing the basketball star and Nike founder Phil Knight for $832 million in all. “’I’m constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me,’ said Heckard. Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering. He’s suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the most recognized men in the world.” Why $832 million, exactly? “Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that’s what it all boils down to.” That’s no more arbitrary as a calculation than some damage assertions we can think of that have done very well in court (Pat Dooris, “Local man sues Jordan, Nike for resemblance”, KGW, Jul. 7)(& more). Update Aug. 3: he drops case.

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Gibbon on lawyer-statesmen

Irritation at a nameless magazine’s author contract puts Terry Teachout (Jun. 30) in mind of the following passage from Patrick O’Brian’s The Reverse of the Medal:

“As for Gibbon, now,” said Stephen when they were settled by the fire again, “I do remember the first lines. They ran ‘It is dangerous to entrust the conduct of nations to men who have learned from their profession to consider reason as the instrument of dispute, and to interpret the laws according to the dictates of private interest; and the mischief has been felt, even in countries where the practice of the bar may deserve to be considered as a liberal occupation.’”

A search on Google Book Search does produce the quote, and indicates that it appeared in the original text of Decline and Fall, but says Gibbon cut the sentence while the book was in press so as “to soften a passage comparing Roman lawyers with their modern counterparts”. It’s also unclear from context whether the passage constituted the “first lines” of anything in particular, as O’Brian suggests.

“Casual pot use a disability, Alberta judge finds”

“An Alberta judge has ruled that a construction company discriminated against a man when it fired him from an oilsands project after his pre-employment drug screening tested positive for marijuana. Instead, Justice Sheilah Martin said the man — a recreational user — should have been treated the same way as someone with a drug addiction, which is considered a disability in a growing body of human rights case law across Canada.” (CanWest/reprinted at CharlesAdler.com, Jun. 29; “Drug testing can be discriminatory, judge rules”, CBC, Jun. 30).

Collection agency class settlement

A class action settlement resulting from litigation against the firm of H.A. Berkheimer of Bangor, Pennsylvania, was sufficiently tilted in favor of legal fees as opposed to class relief that Bucks County Judge Robert Mellon gave it thumbs down. Allentown Morning Call columnist Paul Carpenter, who’s had an outstanding series of columns on the litigation business lately, has the story (“Lawyers can get sweet deals only in some states”, Jun. 20).

Suit: Your niece is ugly

A Massachusetts family is suing a Maryland family over what they call an arranged marriage for their 37-year-old son, Pranjul K. Pandey. The Pandeys called off the marriage after travelling to New Delhi when they decided the bride was too homely. (The former lawyer for the bride’s family denies that there was an arranged marriage, and that the meeting was informal.) The suit seeks $200,000 for fraud, violation of civil rights, and emotional distress. Among the defendants is Emergent BioSolutions Inc., a Gaithersburg company that employs the uncle of the woman in question. One can’t blame the lawyers for this one: the plaintiff, Vijai B. Pandey, previously convicted of bank fraud, is a frequent litigant, and has filed this case pro se. (Marla A. Goldberg, “Family sues over ‘ugly’ bride”, MassLive.com/The Republican, Jul. 5 (via Romenesko)).

Update: The Smoking Gun has the complaint.

Fla. high court nixes Engle

The Florida Supreme Court has backed an appeals court’s dismissal of the absurd $145 billion verdict against cigarette makers in the Engle case. The court’s opinion is split in complicated ways, but the defeat for attorney Stanley Rosenblatt is unmistakable. (Daniel Pimlott, “$145bn award against tobacco giants goes up in smoke”, Financial Times/MSNBC, Jul. 6). The opinion is here (PDF)(via Bashman). I’ve written extensively about the Engle case at earlier stages, including op-eds for the Wall Street Journal Jul. 12, 1999, Jul. 18, 2000 and May 23, 2003. Much more background here.