Warning: “Contains nuts”

Apropos of Walter’s post about silly warning labels, such as “contains nuts” on a can of nuts, I figure we ought to slap the same warning label on the state legislature here in New Jersey.

For instance, the New Jersey Law Journal reports that a state Senate committee unanimously approved a bill this week that would require warning labels on… internet dating sites. The bill first requires that the site inform members “in bold, capital letters in at least 12-point type” whether or not it has conducted a criminal background check on its members. And if it does conduct criminal background checks, it then has to disclose that there’s no real point to conducting criminal background checks:

[The service] shall state that criminal background screenings are not foolproof; that they may give members a false sense of security; that they are not a perfect safety solution; that criminals may circumvent even the most sophisticated search technology; that not all criminal records are public in all states and not all databases are up to date; that only publicly available convictions are included in the screening; and that screenings do not cover other types of convictions or arrests or any convictions from foreign countries.

(How many people do you think are going to read through that verbal thicket of disclaimers?) But wait, that’s not all. The Senate had some extra free time, so it piled on the list of warning labels required:

Codey’s bill mandates dating-service Web sites to post safety-awareness notifications, such as:

  • “Anyone who is able to commit identity theft can also falsify a dating profile.”

  • “There is no substitute for acting with caution when communicating with any stranger who wants to meet you.”

  • “Never include your last name, e-mail address, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your Internet profile or initial e-mail messages.”

  • “Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal or financial information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.”

  • “If you choose to have a face-to-face meeting with another member, always tell someone in your family or a friend where you are going and when you will return.”

  • “Never agree to be picked up at your home. Always provide your own transportation to and from your date and meet in a public place with many people around.”

By the way, when reading these, I assumed the Law Journal was just speculating on the sorts of disclaimers required, but it turns out that those are right there in the bill’s text.

I wonder when the legislature will realize that there’s nothing unique about internet dating, and will think to require bars and nightclubs, restaurants and shopping malls to put up the same sorts of warnings. “Warning: anybody you meet here could be a serial killer.”

5 Comments

  • Wouldn’t it be simpler if the Senate just demands that the dating websites use a variation of the “warning” that is shown at the beginning of each South Park episode.

    DUE TO THE POSSIBLE HARMFUL OUTCOME THIS WEBSITE SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE

  • Standard series of tubes question: Will this apply to sites accessible from NJ? Hosted in NJ? What jurisdiction are these guys claiming?

  • This sort of thing is what happens when people’s lives have no purpose.

  • JB: the statute applies to “An Internet dating service offering services to New Jersey members,” which are defined as “a member who provides a New Jersey billing address or zip code when registering.”

    The bill requires that these disclaimers be provided whenever a New Jersey member signs up, views profiles on the site, or receives messages from other members through the site.

  • Perhaps it would be easier to just post the following:

    “Do to the unreasonable meddling of the NJ Legislature and its inability to expect adults to think for themselves, we can no longer accept Clients for this state. Please check back after each election as this situation could change.”